Inspirational Insights

By Michelle Sewing-Sohn

Horses lend us the wings we lack. 
- Unknown

Life is filled with serendipitous moments; happenings and experiences that come to us without knowing that we even needed them or that they even existed.  My most recent serendipitous moment came when I discovered, while surfing VolunteerMatch on my computer, an intriguing name for an organization, Horses Healing Hearts (HHH) and when I delved further and learned about it, I knew that I had to become a part of it.  HHH is a prevention education program that exists to help children of alcoholics and addicts build self-esteem and confidence by working with horses.  They use horses as a vehicle to teach empathy, trust, boundaries and responsibility.  This not-for-profit organization is the ONLY program in the nation serving and helping children in this way.

 

I contacted Liz Olszewski, Founder of HHH, and was invited to come to one of the “sponsor” barns the program uses in Delray to see firsthand what her program does and how it is run.  When I awoke on a Saturday morning, not only did my weekend routine change, but so did my perception and knowledge about life and the struggles of children of alcoholics and addicts. While my husband slept in, my daughters watched TV and played, I decided to see first hand what HHH was all about. As I drove, I felt uneasy and nervous as I had expected to feel depressed at the thought of seeing young children who have to deal with such trauma and dysfunction so early on in their lives.  But, these emotions were quickly replaced once I arrived and met the children and adults who run the program.

The morning was filled with inspiration and an overall sense of love and compassion.  I was humbled by being in the presence of such a compassionate, kind, group of elementary school children of alcoholics and addicts.  I was inspired and in awe at their innocent, yet poignant comments, questions and concerns that were discussed during circle time; a time designed for them to join together and share their feelings and thoughts if they wish to, in a safe environment.  People use the phrase, “out of the mouth of babes,” and during circle time this phrase truly fit as one girl, in the 3^rd grade asked, “Has anyone ever faked their feelings?”  My mouth dropped open at the honest, vulnerable and complex question she put forward and the group then discussed it.  I struggled to contain my emotions as I wanted to share with them that adults often feel the same way she does, but this was the children’s time, not mine, and the powerful and very adult like questions posed by them still echo in my mind. When a young boy, who was hugging a dog during circle time, looked up and said, “The dog has my eyes” and the dog lovingly licked his face my heart beat in a dance, for the love and security he felt in that moment.  Animals don’t judge, they accept you, they love you when you love them, and that’s what these children are learning to do; to love and trust again through horses and HHH.

HHH is unique in its approach in dealing with children of alcoholics and/or addicts.  It goes a step further, no jumps further, than any other program I have seen to date and consistently helps children to land on their feet, stabilize them and give them the sure footing they lack and desperately need.

One of the participants, a 7 ½ year old girl, Alyssa, the child of an alcoholic, found her way into this program through her grandmother, Alicia who now has full custody due to the fact that her mother is an alcoholic and her father is not present. Alicia was waiting in an office one day and along with her, serendipity appeared, for she picked up a copy of a Wellington Magazine and while combing the pages of it, saw an article about HHH.  Alicia went online to learn more about the program and knew that this organization would be able to “pick up” where other therapy treatments had ended and would be able to help support Alyssa.

 

HHH has provided Alyssa with a second home where she feels safe.  She knows that every Saturday she has adults and peers who will listen to her without judging, that she will be able to ride a horse and that even though she loves her grandmother, she now has “a place where she can talk more freely for there are things she can’t and does not want to talk about with Alicia.”  Alyssa used to go to counseling for anger issues, tantrums, but once, “those problems were resolved there were other issues that needed to be addressed and HHH picked up where those therapies ended.”  She didn’t need “traditional therapy” as much as she needed an outlet to share her feelings and now she feels connected to something bigger than herself.   “Alicia has been involved with HHH for about 4 months and will continue with the program as long as it exists and they will have her!”  While Alyssa is already outgoing, her grandmother told me that, “she is gaining even more confidence as she is proud of her riding ability and her achievements and she looks forward to cantering!”

 

Alicia believes, as do I, that there should be more programs like HHH and wishes, “there was more funding so that the program could continue into the summer and become a camp.”  I don’t believe Alicia and I met by chance.  We shared a serendipitous moment at the close of our conversation, for as I was telling her that she is an amazing woman and that her granddaughter is blessed to have her, she interjected with “blessed,” at the same moment I was speaking the word,  when she said, “we are blessed with this program,”

 

The quote above this story, “Horses lend us the wings we lack,” encapsulates and encompasses what HHH is doing and the quote has taken on greater significance and a deeper meaning. It seems the horses are blessed, as are the children who ride them.  The horses, HHH, almost seem to be acting as the children’s angels, protecting, loving and giving them those things their alcoholic and addict parent(s) unfortunately could not.  Horses Healing Hearts provide children with the “wings”, the self-esteem and trust they need to succeed in life and to persevere in the face of life’s challenges and obstacles.  If you are free one Saturday morning I hope you will contact Liz Olszewski, or at least visit their website, and become involved.  I promise you that your heart will open up and that you will witness wounds being healed.  As HHH states, “One horse, one child, one day at a time.” This is the philosophy behind the program and it is working miracles.