Inspirational Insights

By Michelle Sewing-Sohn

Horses lend us the wings we lack. 
- Unknown

Life is filled with serendipitous moments; happenings and experiences that come to us without knowing that we even needed them or that they even existed.  My most recent serendipitous moment came when I discovered, while surfing VolunteerMatch on my computer, an intriguing name for an organization, Horses Healing Hearts (HHH) and when I delved further and learned about it, I knew that I had to become a part of it.  HHH is a prevention education program that exists to help children of alcoholics and addicts build self-esteem and confidence by working with horses.  They use horses as a vehicle to teach empathy, trust, boundaries and responsibility.  This not-for-profit organization is the ONLY program in the nation serving and helping children in this way.

 

I contacted Liz Olszewski, Founder of HHH, and was invited to come to one of the “sponsor” barns the program uses in Delray to see firsthand what her program does and how it is run.  When I awoke on a Saturday morning, not only did my weekend routine change, but so did my perception and knowledge about life and the struggles of children of alcoholics and addicts. While my husband slept in, my daughters watched TV and played, I decided to see first hand what HHH was all about. As I drove, I felt uneasy and nervous as I had expected to feel depressed at the thought of seeing young children who have to deal with such trauma and dysfunction so early on in their lives.  But, these emotions were quickly replaced once I arrived and met the children and adults who run the program.

The morning was filled with inspiration and an overall sense of love and compassion.  I was humbled by being in the presence of such a compassionate, kind, group of elementary school children of alcoholics and addicts.  I was inspired and in awe at their innocent, yet poignant comments, questions and concerns that were discussed during circle time; a time designed for them to join together and share their feelings and thoughts if they wish to, in a safe environment.  People use the phrase, “out of the mouth of babes,” and during circle time this phrase truly fit as one girl, in the 3^rd grade asked, “Has anyone ever faked their feelings?”  My mouth dropped open at the honest, vulnerable and complex question she put forward and the group then discussed it.  I struggled to contain my emotions as I wanted to share with them that adults often feel the same way she does, but this was the children’s time, not mine, and the powerful and very adult like questions posed by them still echo in my mind. When a young boy, who was hugging a dog during circle time, looked up and said, “The dog has my eyes” and the dog lovingly licked his face my heart beat in a dance, for the love and security he felt in that moment.  Animals don’t judge, they accept you, they love you when you love them, and that’s what these children are learning to do; to love and trust again through horses and HHH.

HHH is unique in its approach in dealing with children of alcoholics and/or addicts.  It goes a step further, no jumps further, than any other program I have seen to date and consistently helps children to land on their feet, stabilize them and give them the sure footing they lack and desperately need.

One of the participants, a 7 ½ year old girl, Alyssa, the child of an alcoholic, found her way into this program through her grandmother, Alicia who now has full custody due to the fact that her mother is an alcoholic and her father is not present. Alicia was waiting in an office one day and along with her, serendipity appeared, for she picked up a copy of a Wellington Magazine and while combing the pages of it, saw an article about HHH.  Alicia went online to learn more about the program and knew that this organization would be able to “pick up” where other therapy treatments had ended and would be able to help support Alyssa.

 

HHH has provided Alyssa with a second home where she feels safe.  She knows that every Saturday she has adults and peers who will listen to her without judging, that she will be able to ride a horse and that even though she loves her grandmother, she now has “a place where she can talk more freely for there are things she can’t and does not want to talk about with Alicia.”  Alyssa used to go to counseling for anger issues, tantrums, but once, “those problems were resolved there were other issues that needed to be addressed and HHH picked up where those therapies ended.”  She didn’t need “traditional therapy” as much as she needed an outlet to share her feelings and now she feels connected to something bigger than herself.   “Alicia has been involved with HHH for about 4 months and will continue with the program as long as it exists and they will have her!”  While Alyssa is already outgoing, her grandmother told me that, “she is gaining even more confidence as she is proud of her riding ability and her achievements and she looks forward to cantering!”

 

Alicia believes, as do I, that there should be more programs like HHH and wishes, “there was more funding so that the program could continue into the summer and become a camp.”  I don’t believe Alicia and I met by chance.  We shared a serendipitous moment at the close of our conversation, for as I was telling her that she is an amazing woman and that her granddaughter is blessed to have her, she interjected with “blessed,” at the same moment I was speaking the word,  when she said, “we are blessed with this program,”

 

The quote above this story, “Horses lend us the wings we lack,” encapsulates and encompasses what HHH is doing and the quote has taken on greater significance and a deeper meaning. It seems the horses are blessed, as are the children who ride them.  The horses, HHH, almost seem to be acting as the children’s angels, protecting, loving and giving them those things their alcoholic and addict parent(s) unfortunately could not.  Horses Healing Hearts provide children with the “wings”, the self-esteem and trust they need to succeed in life and to persevere in the face of life’s challenges and obstacles.  If you are free one Saturday morning I hope you will contact Liz Olszewski, or at least visit their website, and become involved.  I promise you that your heart will open up and that you will witness wounds being healed.  As HHH states, “One horse, one child, one day at a time.” This is the philosophy behind the program and it is working miracles.

 

A “Little Bit” of Hope - Green Field Reserve

A “Little Bit” of Hope - Green Field Reserve

                                    A “Little Bit” of Hope

 

                                         

By Michelle Sewing-Sohn

                                      

                                                         Hope Feeding "Little Bit!"

Life is often measured in milestones, accomplishments and memorable events.  But, it is often the unexpected moments that bring deeper meaning and significance to our lives and the little things can actually have the hugest impact on us.  This past weekend was my daughter Hope’s Bat Mitzvah, but it was also the strange and beautiful juxtaposition of events and beings that do not fit together seamlessly that brought cause for more hope, celebration, a feeling of connectedness and peacefulness.   The events began unfolding when Marissa, the caterer, saw the sign I created with my daughter’s name- “HOPE” surrounded by two monkeys hanging on either side of her name.  I explained to her our love for all animals and the theme of the party, “Hope’s Paradise,” with decorations to mirror a tropical rainforest.  When Marissa told me the story of how Travis from Greenfield Reserve rescued,“Little Bit”, a Patas monkey, who had suffered a stroke and rather than giving up on her, he decided to operate and take charge of her recovery; I sat awestruck and began to wonder if this was a coincidence or a matter of fate. 

I had written my daughter’s speech before meeting “Little Bit,” and retrospectively I feel that I may have had a foreshadowing of events and that two creatures would be meeting for the first, but definitely, not the last time.  The introduction I wrote begins,

“I stand before you today to speak about my daughter, Hope, and on her becoming a Bat Mitzvah.  But, describing her in words is quite a challenging task.  She is a dichotomy, for on the one hand she is still a child who needs others to protect and teach her, but on the other, she is fiercely independent and wants to stand on her own.  She is willful, intelligent, stubborn, and creative and as a close friend so astutely described her, bold.”

After learning about “Little Bit’s” stroke and her road to recovery I saw similarities between the two young females.  Then, to help express my feelings for Hope further I borrowed the poignant words of Emily Dickinson.  She wrote,

“Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul.

And sings the tune

Without the words,

And never stops at all.”

 My daughter is a girl of few words.  Yet those she utters she chooses carefully and wisely.  Whether she sings or speaks them, you can be rest assured they are full of purpose, to the point and honest.”  “ Little Bit,” like Hope, is not a simple creature, but one full of purpose, love, a zest for life and their power over us is contagious.. “Little Bit” had hope and I think that Travis heard the cries she couldn’t speak from within his soul.  Travis knew that he had to do everything in his power to ensure that “Little Bit” would survive and she did.  She lives and breathes on her own, but also in the soul of those she has met along life’s journey.  The day Hope become a Bat Mitzvah, more than one milestone was created. While Hope carefully carried one year old “Little Bit,” wrapped comfortably in a towel through the party, many people may have thought the pair an unlikely match.  But, on the contrary, a “little bit of hope” can go a long way to uplifting and changing the mood of an event and changing people’s perceptions about life and what it has to offer.  My daughter found that which perches in her soul; hope for life, hope for humans, hope for animals, hope for a chance to become something bigger than she already is and to educate others to the plight of animals everywhere, how they can help and the amazing things people are capable of and are doing every day without stopping. 

As Desmond Tuto said, “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”  I was given more than a “little bit” on the night of my daughter’s party.  Hope is everywhere; it is within all of us; every living creature and I hope that I and others who are reading this are moved by the image of a baby monkey wrapped snugly in a towel being carried carefully around by a child and that we continue to marvel at life’s’ miracles and do a “little something” each day to help animals and each other.  Jane Goodall said it well when she stated, “the least I can do is speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves.”  More words were imparted indirectly as Hope carried “Little Bit,” than could have been spoken.  When eyes meet eyes, the soul melts and hope unleashes.  That’s how I felt when my blue eyes, gazed upon “Little Bit’s” hazel ones.  Travis, from Greenfield Reserve, shared "Little Bit" with all of us that evening and I know that I don’t want to let go of her…not one “little bit.’

                                       

A Little Bit of Hope